olaf & apfel

Sat, 03 May 2008 18:01:17 GMT

while i hate not being able to trust certain people, it feels good knowing why i can't.

i was happy for a day in 1975

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 05:47:47 GMT

so, my life lately consists of watching rob & big in the mornings and smoking tons of parliaments and being bored out of my mind in my russian history class and buying mango slices and crudités during breaks and lots of blue shirts and going to photobooths and being boy-crazy and not getting my period?! and doing my usual "i luv belle & sebastian omgzzzz" thing that i do every three months.

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 22:35:52 GMT

i fucked up.

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:06:38 GMT

i feel bad saying this but i'm having a really good week depsite all the drama that's happened. does this mean that i'm a bad person? no, it means that i am growing and learning not to let things beyond my control fuck up my life.

anyway winter session started; i'm taking a math class & philosophy class. i like them both, pretty much, even though i am constantly marginalized by my philosophy professor because she is so obviously hyper-left-wing, anti-everything-american and it drives me crazy. also my math professor has a really thick accent but the work is easy so i guess i don't really need to listen to her, right?

nye 06 pt. ii

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 22:50:19 GMT

notes to self: new year's eve
$ liquor list
$ long playlist(s)
$ foosbaaaaaaaallin'
$ food situation?
$ polaroid film
$ makin' moves

i have a feeling that new year's eve 2006 part two will be a lot of fun, mostly because i am making a point to get really drunk.

p.w. bornum

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 21:15:20 GMT

we make our decisions. and then our decisions turn around and make us.

yoga & hooch?

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 04:39:59 GMT

"this ain't no chicken delight!"

i had a good weekend. i hung out with a variety of people and it was a lot more chill than previous weekends have been. it feels really good to not come home completely beat and completely wasted every night.

all i want to eat anymore is chow mein, sourdough jacks with barbeque sauce, fruit salad and kettle corn. i have been fed these four things on a regular basis and it's excellent. what does this mean? it means that i am gross, but i am okay with that.

this weather is so ridiculous. it's cold and foggy one minute and then all of a sudden it's really hot and everyone's wearing sunglasses and shorts and then bam! it's cold again. i want it to stay cold, especially since i just bought those jackets and it would be nice to wear my rainboots one day, too.

the other day in barnes & noble the soundtrack to a charlie brown christmas was playing and it made me so happy. i consider that soundtrack to be one of my favorite albums, which i suppose is a little weird. listening to it just always makes me very content but also a little sad, which is the effect most of my favorite things have on me.

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:19:50 GMT

just got back from kickin' it with marge & henrik. i love those fools.

i smell like weed & alcohol. i am broke. my cell phone had low battery all night and i probably missed out on some phone callz. i really feel like reading some ezra pound poetry but i can't bring myself to climb into bed and everything. it's weird how whenever i'm out there's always a point where i'm falling asleep, but the second i get home i'm energized.

hm i had planned to watch conan tonight but it seems like that's not happening.

i always bring something for the squirrels

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 18:49:19 GMT

notes to self
$ re-read underworld
$ call marge barona
$ never wear a bra ever again
$ buy gum buy gum buy gum
$ no more sc
$ something else that i'm forgetting

last night megan & i called hanz. the number she called was...uh, not hanz. the number i called was. he is alive! and he has a job, too. weird.

i feel sick pretty often for unknown reasons. it's weird. i also think i might have chronic fatigue syndrome. i am tired 24/7 and it's kind of terrible. i want to be up for things and have a good time but i can't if i am constantly thinking about how tired i am.

let your arrows fly

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:11:26 GMT

i love hanging out with guys. i love listening to sam cooke and joe cuba. i love transporting random otis freshmen through the kfc/taco bell drive-thru. i love good, insightful conversations. i love watching fresh prince of bel-air until 6 in the morning. i love making graphs in my microeconomics notes. i love pizza. i love good-quality vanilla cigarettes. i love enjoyable sex, which is definitely a sub-set of good sex. i love yellow and gray together.

there are lots of things i love lately, and lots of things i do not love, but for the purposes of this post we'll concentrate on the former.

make my plans and you always in it

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 03:33:31 GMT

notes to self/to-do
$ french or russian
$ buy new (smaller) bag
$ turn in student verification form
$ ais/math work
$ buy house party

i'm currently in one of my fitzgerald moods. every now and then i get the urge to re-read a bunch of short stories and a novel or two by f. scott fitzgerald and after it's all over i'm always left feeling oddly content. i'm thinking of picking up matthew j. bruccoli's some sort of epic grandeur, mostly because i love the title.

never am i coy

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:31:23 GMT

i think a tribe called quest is officially one of my favorite bands. listening to their music makes me think of two things: one, that one night driving around at 3 in the morning, being warm and content and in the company of someone i enjoy (or at least, did at the moment), and two, life in the mid-90s, which doesn't seem as lame as i once thought it was. i just like their music a lot and every time i listen to them i tend to think about things beyond the music.

anyway, this weekend went very well. i've decided that i am going to try and enjoy myself this week, because i am tired of being bored and, subsequently, being boring. november will be a good month, it has to be.

also i have a 40 oz hiding out in my closet, hip hop hurray!

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 02:09:14 GMT

today i ditched class, ate crepes, got a free adrian tomine poster and bought a new pair of shoes. i also went to lacma and - deeming the dali exhibit too crowded for me to enjoy - smoked a cigarette in the observation pit and wondered if throwing a cigarette butt into the tar pit would cause any sort of explosion. it didn't.

tomorrow:
$ atonement quiz
$ free dinner?
$ julia's halloween party
$ something else i'm forgetting

you had the sun in your eyes

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:02:16 GMT

note to self
october 28th @ the new beverly
the departed
sun: 2:40 & 7:30

internal affairs
sun: 5:30 & 10:15

things to do
$ finish part one of atonement
$ go to turntable lab for east of underground lp
$ mail off mixes for october indie mix trade
$ buy new books
$ dinner at the counter some time this week

on the bus ride home this morning, the air was warm and the light had that late-afternoon orange tinge, and it was nice. however, it isn't that nice; it's fire season. it happens every year, and truthfully - embarrassingly, ignorantly - i like it. i always have.

in the winter i'm taking jazz in american culture and i'm pretty excited. i love jazz and i'm excited to learn new things about it and new ways of listening to it. maybe i'm expecting too much; this is usually the case, especially in terms of school. i expect more than they can offer.

i wish you were here today

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 04:55:48 GMT

i bought two pairs of ksubi jeans & a mbmj shirt and i'm broke again. but at least i look good? or my ass does, at least. i love jeans so much but i have too many pairs.

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 17:34:55 GMT

this was such a good weekend. there were minor setbacks but they were inconsequential and unimportant.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 00:28:40 GMT

today i realized that i am not where i want to be. and to top it off, my friends are so fucking self-involved 24 hours a day. fuck i am so tired of solving your problems for you, all of you.

i

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 01:22:07 GMT

i crave potatoes
i saw 3:10 to yuma with sara; it was excellent
i left my cell phone in megan's car
i saw dima last night
i also walked through approx. two million puddles
i probably ruined my favorite shoes
i really like the last 35 seconds of "we rule the school"
i listen to too much b&s, obviously
i am going to a party later that i don't really want to go to
i had lasagna for lunch
i won't see maxfield until sunday probably
i want a cigarette but i don't want to go outside
i have to call paige

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 19:07:39 GMT

life is still boring. i just remembered that i have a baggie of trix cereal in my purse and that is the most exciting thing to happen in all of the six hours i have been awake. school is dull; i never have homework and i don't feel like i'm learning anything. i sit in class and become annoyed by people and send text messages and feel like i'm wasting my time. as usual, i'm learning more on my own time, on my own accord. i don't want to be here; i want to be in another city with other people doing different, exciting things, not sitting here wondering if i want salad pizza for lunch and if that sweater comes in my size. tomorrow dmitry and maxfield come home for the weekend and i'm not even excited about that. it'll be good to see them but i am at the point where i don't really care about much anymore.

generic media

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:39:25 GMT

today i bought adrian tomine's graphic novel shortcomings. i really liked it but i went through it so quickly! i've been really happy with my book purchases lately; bryan caplan's the myth of the rational voter: why democracies choose bad policies is also very good.

i have ordered this dress and i'm pretty excited. it's so cute!

i kissed all the pretty girls

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:59:36 GMT

there's lot of teen drama going around and i wish i could climb into a hole until it's all resolved. but! on the plus side: my mother is bringing me peaches, i'm seeing the microphones on wednesday and dima & maxfield are coming in next weekend.

aside from all of the drama, last night's party was excellent. it included lots of cigarettes, table-drumming and a rather embarrassing (and widespread) papa roach sing-a-long.

1979 is in my head

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 20:07:37 GMT

1. i am at school right now.
2. i am sort of en route to purchase salad pizza.
3. i really should take my birth control.
4. yeah, that's a good idea.

stolen from kingfridays (i am lazy)

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 19:07:04 GMT

never send for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

i think about that line a lot. every single week there is always some line of poetry or some part of a book i read that stays with me, that i mull over on bus rides home or while eating dinner or while in the shower. and so this week, it is this, courtesy of john donne, borrowed by hemingway, agonized over by me. actually, there is no agonizing being done, it's not necessary. it's a straightforward line of poetry (or sermon?). it's just that sometimes a line gets seared into your brain, you know, and there's nothing you can do but think about it until you read the next poem or the next novel and some other little ingenious string of words replaces it, at least for a while.

a thousand smiles

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 23:03:34 GMT

i might be going to see girl talk and dan deacon tomorrow, but there is a conflict of interest; namely, megan's party. while seeing greg gillis dj would be amazing, the chance of me having a bad time with paige and liana is way higher than if i went to megan's. actually, whenever i have hung out with the two of them there is always a point in the night where i'm just like "ugggg i want to go home, i am not having a good time." i love them both but they're both kind of self-interested all the time.

i'll bring you cover when you get cold

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 01:25:46 GMT

this (next?) week:
1. applying to uo
2. math test on tuesday
3. buying microphones/mount eerie tickets
4. friday night parties
5. bike-ride at least an hour a day

i am fucking someone i don't care about and i need a job. i had a weird dream today, but all i remember are the words "take it as it comes." pretty interesting considering recent circumstances/feelings. i'm back in love with shostakovich string quartets. every time i listen to one i discover something new.